Ah, who cares about the deficit! The only reason I care about the deficit is because our international credit is maxxed which means we don't have enough coin to "encourage" more countries to our right, and supremely successful, way of life.... We'll never have peace until we force everyone to choose American-style democracy and freedom. Since before the American Revolution, one of our mottoes has been "Live Free or Die!", a slogan that we mistakenly interpret as "I will live free or die trying" when, in fact, it really means "Hey world, choose freedom or we'll kill you" (funny how distorted things like that get over time). I bet if we get another 5 or 10 aircraft carrier battle groups, a bunch more countries will see the error of their ways.
Here's my budget reform plan: What we really need to do is collapse all federal departments into the Department of Defense so that we can streamline administration of federal programs (thus saving a ton of money) and better align our budget with our priorities (saving the world from its own stupidity).
Think about it! The public ed system could then focus on subject matter more relevant to the defense of our great nation instead of silly wastes of money like music, art, literature, or world history. What does "liberal arts" have to do with anything? Classroom management problems would simply disappear if teachers had the latitude that military instructors have to enforce discipline. Colleges and universities could be reformed to a military academy model. National infrastructure programs could focus on getting the best bang for the buck instead of wasting time with contradictory local priorities. Social Security could be rolled into the VA. Medicare and Medicaid could be integrated with the outstanding military medical system. Welfare programs could be integrated with the military induction system so that we could stop all those ticks and leeches (welfare moms and deadbeat dads) from sucking blood off of hardworking Americans (we've got several thousands of miles of borders to guard don't we?). How much money could we save if we got rid of the U.S. Aid program entirely? And while Tang and Velcro are a couple of nice things from civilian scientific research, military research gave us the Internet and the Hummer! How cool is that!!! Oh, and think about how we easily we could solve the housing crisis in this country if the inventory of foreclosed homes became"base housing"! Oh, oh... the PX system is nice right now but imagine if Walmarts were turned into PX's! How cool would that be? And turning around the consumer economy would be easy with a bunch more spendy grunts around. Have you ever seen an E-3 without a large screen TV and an awesome smart phone??? Of course not!
*sigh* I could go on and on but the reality is that our national political discourse is too dishonest to recognize the brilliance of my plan. The evidence for the genius of my ideas is right in front of them! Think about it... have you ever seen the U.S. military protesting like those stupid teachers in Wisconsin? Of course not! You ever see soldiers forming unions? Of course not! And who saved Egypt's collective bacon? The Egyptian military, of course (a military patterned after, and trained, funded, and provisioned by, our own incredible military system, I might add!). Instead, the Libbers and Repluglicks and Boston Tea Baggers will keep bleeding this great nation dry with a bunch of stupid ideas instead of reaching out for a model of governing and administration that WORKS: the Department of Defense!
(all hail the Ori)
++vn
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